Weekend Woes Pt. 2

Every weekend we go and get Jermahl from his dad’s house. Even after my c-section with Jude, Jesse went and picked him up and brought him to the hospital. So, the day after my surgery was no different. I woke Jesse up about 20 minutes before Jermahl was due to get out of school. I told him earlier that I wanted to go pick him up, but he was half asleep, so I figured he didn’t hear me. This irritated him that on his ‘day off’ he has to go somewhere. I told him we are also going to my friend Miranda’s house (who we’ll call Mandi from now on to avoid confusion). Mandi has been a fricking life saver! She helps me go to the bathroom, she talks to me, she gets my stupid jokes. She even likes the games and music I like. We are the two Miranda’s…peas in a pod. lol.

Well, hubby takes me to go get Jermahl after he throws his temper tantrum. We then go to Mandi’s house where she immediately starts helping with Judas and Jermahl. She and I try to stay up to watch an American Idol marathon (that she fell asleep during…and then I fell asleep after I woke her up :/). Jesse and I talked about whether or not my being ill was too much of a burden on him, and he relayed how stressed he was because of work and our house and bills and what not. That it wasn’t having to take care of me. I told him, well, if taking care of me isn’t what’s irritating him, I need him to understand that I really only ask for help when I absolutely need it.He ‘apologized’ by pretty much taking care of Jude for most of the night.

You know, until he got sleepy.

So here I am on Percoset. I took 2 this time because I thought the hubby had the baby. We bought formula for him to drink while I couldn’t nurse and everything. I woke up around 3 in the morning to Judas screaming his poor little head off. I hobbled with my cane into the next room to see Judas in his carseat and Jesse passed out on the sofa, controller in hand. Boy, I wanted to knock his block off. I told him to wake up and hand me the baby. He did. Then I asked him to go make him a bottle to which he grumbled some incoherent ‘no’ and put a blanket over his face.

Sigh.

Well, because I hate feeling helpless, which I am at the moment, I decided it would be a smart idea to pick Judas up (you know, that thing I’m NOT supposed to do) and carry him into the next room. I nursed him a little, then laid him beside me on the couch. I spent the next few hours waking up every hour because of Jude’s fussing. Until around 7:17am when Mandi’s son runs into the room I’m sleeping in and informs me it’s time to play X-Box Kinect.

 

Hellooooo, day 3.

Weekend Woes Pt. 1

I had surgery this past Thursday. I developed a hernia above my navel when I got pregnant with Jude. After I had him, I decided I was super woman and did too much, giving myself yet another hernia…this time directly behind my navel. So, yeah, I had to get them repaired before they got worse (which was happening).

It’s always a hassle for Jesse to get time off. Jude was c-section, which means Jesse was supposed to get an automatic 10 days off. I had to deal with going allll the way above his superior officers heads because they didnt want to give him his time off. :/ Having this surgery meant another 10 days. It was a hassle…and they only agreed to give him his time off he promised to come to work Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. I love the military but sometimes I hate his installation.

Anyway, Jesse is supposed to get time off because I can’t do anything for myself. I’m not even allowed to pick up the baby forat least a week. These 10 days are supposed to be me being able to drown myself in pain meds and not do anything. Because that’s pretty much what I’m supposed to do. I have Percoset. It makes me groggy; I pass out at random times, my vision is totally blurred (I’ve just been a typist for years so I can do this with my eyes closed). So, yeah, Jesse is supposed to be helping me like a good husband, right?

Day 1: Surgery…he wakes me up, I kiss Judas good-bye and leave with my friend Miranda, he drives me around the world because I lost my wallet (in my Miranda’s couch) and then takes me to the hospital. He drops me off at the door so he can park and smoke and I can check in. He doesn’t come in for like 15 minutes. That’s fine. When he does come in, he sits with me. When they take me up and I have to wash, he opens my socks for me…which I thought was really cute. We go to the pre-op room, and we talk and laugh and he tries to calm me down because I really thought I was going to die. He was great up until he needed to be calmed down because he wanted a cigarette so bad and they were taking too long to come and get me. So, he stood outside my curtain practically flagging down anyone with a hospital badge on, like, ‘Are you gonna take her yet, or what?’ LOL.

My fall risk and allergy bracelets 😛

They came and got me. I barely remember the anesthesia kicking in. They put something in my I.V., we went into the elevator, I woke up in the recovery room. Alone. Because he left to buy me a stool to get in his super-high truck and was still outside smoking. And no nurse could get a hold of him. So I called him, told him I needed him. My surgeon never came to talk t

o either of us about how the surgery went. They just discharged me when I was lucid enough to stand. I was really high. It felt extremely strange. I was in a lot of pain. Jesse put my clothes on me. All of them. So sweet.

We went back to Miranda’s. She and I talked a lot. Jesse helped me move around a lot. He super sweet about taking me to the bathroom. When we got home, he helped me inside. He changed Jude’s diaper (he rarely does that). He was just amazing.

Until he got sleepy. After that I was on my own. He is not a mo

rning person. He hates being woken up…But neither am I. I still have the common sense to not be a blow-hard at certain times. He was pissed he had to make the bottle. He was pissed he had to keep getting up to help me go to the bathroom. He was pissed he had to hold the baby. So I had to wake up from my Percoset-induced stupor and nurse Jude, get myself to the bathroom, cry a little.

I finally got to sleep, only to be shocked awake by the glorious feeling of my drugs wearing off and the pain coming on strong. It took 30 minutes to wake him to find my pills. This is all within like the first 24 hours following my surgery. :/ Tell you more about Day 2 later today.

About a Boy

Sorry, it’s been a while. I’ll post at least once a week. I’m still getting used to the new baby. It’s mighty exhausting. I kind of thought that doing it once would have prepared me…I know, I’m silly.

I decided that tonight’s entry is going to be about my boys, how they came to be about and all that. Let’s start with Jermahl, since he was first and all. I spent a lot of my childhood looking for someone to love me. The women in my family seem to have bad luck. My mom was an adopted child. Her family treated her badly so she had kids to build a new family of people that would love her no matter what and vice versa. I (and my younger siblings) was kidnapped, so to speak, when I was little and I never quite felt like part of the family again once I was returned to my mother. I always felt like I needed to prove myself, like I belonged…yet, I resented being made to feel that way so I got in a lot of trouble (mostly running away from home).

When I was 15 years old, I met a boy named Jermahl (17). I thought he was cute. And he was black. I wasn’t really into black guys and my mother didn’t really “approve” of black people. We are all Southeast Asian and Caucasian and her adoptive family was black so…they left a bad taste with her, I guess. Anyway, for me it was the perfectopportunity for some teenage rebellion.

AS/PSYC1010 Wiki

Unfortunately, I rebelled myself into some teenage pregnancy.  My mom told me that Jermahl got me pregnant on purpose, that his family wanted a baby that looked like me. I couldn’t believe her because he kept trying to get me to ask my mom for an abortion. She told me I would never forgive myself and she wasn’t allowing me to go through that.­­Thanks, Mom.

So I had my son via C-section at 16, on July 17th, 2005 (a month after I got my G.E.D). I named him Jermahl D’Angelo White II—I thought it would be cute to name the firstborn son directly after his father. :/ <<Stupid??

I spent years getting cheated on, beat on, talked down to. It was like a bad B.E.T. movie. After I wound up going to jail for him (stealing for food) and being so depressed and defeated, I tried to kill myself, I finally got away. That was the end for me. Baby Jermahl was about 2 ½ by now. I didn’t have much and I didn’t have a place to take him, so he had to stay with his dad until I could get on my feet. The only problem was his dad was douchebag and I was desperate.

Luckily, I fell in love with a guy named Chris. We decided we just had to be together; we would rescue my son from his abusive father and run away to Texas.

That lasted two years. Chris is…a different post???(not post worthy…??). I wound up moving back to VA worse off than before. Sperm Donor #1 decided to take me to court for custody. L When we got to court the judge wanted to get CPS involved and instead of risking having my son completely taken away, I acquiesced to letting him live with his father, since I had nothing to give him anyway.

Fast-forward two years later. Weekend visits, no holidays (everL). No summers. No Spring Breaks. Lots of dating failures (I even gave up the conventional ways and started online dating). Chris got into some trouble in Texas, I went to go visit him (we wound being friends…or so I thought). Hello, baby #2.

I found out I was preggers 3 weeks later. Fast, right?? But I couldn’t tell Chris (he wound up going to jail for 6months). I told his sister and she blocked me out of her life. So here I am, pregnant, just starting to get on my feet, feeling like a BIG, HUMONGOUS, IDIOT. All I could think was that I was going to have to re-arrange my dating profile. LOL.

But seriously, I rearranged my dating my profile (i.e., took down my pic and put that I was pregnant—I also put that I wasn’t looking for anyone to play ‘daddy.’ I just wanted to find love).

I get a very long message from some hot soldier (I LOVE a man in uniform), pretty much saying that I couldn’t expect to fall in love and have someone fall in love with me while I’m pregnant and have a son, and not think he isn’t going to want to love my kids, too. 0.0 And he also wanted to get to know me.

PSYCHO KILLER ALERT.

Honestly, after my long and horrible/comical failed dating life, I figured there’s something wrong with a guy who is this hot, stable, and intelligent and wants to get to know the pregnant chick with no picture. Of course, that meant I had to date him.

The baby shower

Three weeks after Jesse and I started dating, he told me I was his girlfriend (October 1, 2011). About two months later I was officially moved in with him. January 25th, we were officially engaged

(actual proposal)and February 3rd, 2012, we were hitched. One of the happiest days of my life.  Very fast, right??

February 17th, enter Judas Riku Jordan Breedlove (“give praise to God even in times of trial and hardship, descend upon and spread love”). A lot of people give me judgy eyes because I named him Judas >.< That’s okay. Because Judas has a beautiful meaning, and Jesus Christ had a brother named Judas, and I’m an UBER Christian and my baby Judas is one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever laid eyes on. My sons are my blessing.

So, Jesse and I are in court now, trying to get custody back of little Jermahl. We go May 14th, and I really just can’t wait until my family is whole. I found the best man ever; I have the greatest two little boys a mom could ask for. When we are all together, my heart will feel complete.

So…that’s what’s been on my mind today.

5 in 5 How??

Okay, so I’ve been slightly obsessed with taking surveys for the past couple of years. I’ve never really gotten into it the way I’ve wanted, because life hasn’t really given me a lot of time to share my opinion. :/ Well, I’ve recently decided I’m going to do everything I’ve ever wanted (getting married, this blog, etc.) and that included finding all of the BEST survey sites and winning awesome prizes and making some side money.

Picture from Dreamtime.com

I’ve never actually heard of anyone doing it, but if you’ve ever taken a hard-core survey, you know they can be UBER TEDIOUS and you have to be kind of dedicated. I LOVE taking surveys, so no problem. And hey, when I get rich…I can share with everyone I know how to do it, too. The only problem is…a LOTof these sites are scams, ready to steal your information. I guess that’s why people don’t do them: way too much risk…and spam mail. Waaaay too much spam mail. That’s easy, though. You make a new email address and let the same come. It’s so rewarding when you find a fun site that actually PAYS.

Here’s a site that doesn’t:

5 in 5 Now

This website, 5 in 5, claims that every email, day, offer, you can make $5 in 5 minutes. What they don’t tell you is that they really mean every five minutes they’re going to send you spam mail and try and trick you into joining other sites that are supposedly other ‘reputable’ survey sites. Guess what? Those other sites are just their baby scam sites…waiting with even MORE SPAM MAIL. (Getpaidtotry.com, GPT.com, fiversurv.com). They promise you  $5 just for joining, and it’s “100% free to join,” but you need to have earned $25 to redeem your money. $25 dollars isn’t so bad, except I’m betting from personal experience and all of the reviews I’ve read is to give those bad boys your credit card number and hope they don’t rob you while you’re waiting for them to pay you.

Don’t waste your time.

0/5 on the {Sucky :( } to {So NOT Sucky meter :)} (<<Super Sucky)

Take a Look Outside Yourself!!

I LOOOVE to read. I read everything. Magazines, newspapers, blogs, web articles, Wikipedia, my sisters’ diaries everything. So I thought, why not have a book review page? I like a bunch of different subjects and this could be a good way to share my opinions and get great suggestions on new books to read. I am a member at another website, and it’s nice but this is much more personal to me. So, for my first review I choose a book I JUST read called Guide to OBE & Astral Projection: Astral Projection Secrets Revealed.

Written by Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler, she takes a much different approach to outer-body experiences than most. I expected the book to be occultist (like most books I’ve found on the subject) and fanatic. Instead, it was very concise, scientific, and logical. It was extremely informative, INTERESTING and easy to understand. Not only that, but it’s only about 70 pages and $3 on Amazon. I say pretty impressive and I’ll probably read something else by her.

4/5 on the {Sucky :(} to {So NOT Sucky meter:)}

Welcome to Crazyland!

Hey all! I’m Miranda. Welcome to my blog. A little about me: I’m a starving artist aspiring blogger and SAHM. I have  2 insane WONDERFUL little boys: Jermahl (6) and Jude (8weeks).

I’m a brand new Army wife and being married is great, but so not what I expected. Jesse and I are still getting to know each other. We have a rather unorthodox background (but that’s another post). 

Hubby is at work a lot, the baby sleeps/screams a lot and it gets kind of lonely (the hubby can’t really text during his job). I love to cook, bake, knit, crochet,SHOP, take surveys, spend time with my family, shop (I know I said it already :/), take pictures, do yoga, and experiment with makeup.

I know a lot of people wonder why we blog, share our innermost thoughts and intimate secrets. I want to connect, to survive, and maybe help a few women along the way.

When people first meet me, they think I’m a care-free 23 yo. Negative, ghostrider. While my life has its lovely aspects, it’s a bumpy ride. Soooo you might want to buckle your seatbelts.

Thinking about it?

It is about the Day to Day thoughts we receive that can be accompanied with actions. I believe that the Holy Ghost doesn't only prompt us in big decision making but also in the very small ones. As we begin to note down the small daily prompting we receive, we begin to notice clearly what spiritual promptings are like and how they can be recognized in the huge decision processes. It is a learning process. One must understand the techniques of little addition and subtractions before understanding that of algebraic equations. My goal is to expressly apply the small daily inspirations I receive from the scriptures and or spontaneous inspirations into actions that can benefit me and others to becoming better children of a Heavenly Father. First think about it and act upon the will of God.

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